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Caring for someone with RA

When we finally found out, there was definitely a huge sense of relief that we, you know, we finally knew what it was, and then we, you know, we could go ahead and treat it. But there was also a bit of a shock because, you know, you know, I always thought of somebody with arthritis -. I didn't know one arthritis from another arthritis, and I just, you know, assumed older people get arthritis and, you know, not somebody in their early 30s. So there was both of those, you know, feelings.

I would say, you know, as far as what I've had to learn to be a supportive partner, um, is to definitely have patience, you know, with her when she's in pain because, um you know, I've had different ideas of how she, you know, could go about, you know, getting the treatment that she needs and everything else, but you know, she's not always ready to hear what I have to say, you know, especially when she's in pain. And usually that's when I try to make a point, you know, so um, that's not the best time to try to make a point, so patience is a big -, you know, knowing when to back off and just be supportive, and, you know, when the time is right to, you know, to start talking about different ideas.

But, you know, kids don't realize that, and so they don't know. They want something. They're asking for it, or they're just being kids, -, they don't know Mommy has RA and she's in pain today, and you know, they might get a different reaction, you know, depending on the type of day, you know, Mommy is having.

The best thing to do is to empower them by, you know, helping them to get as much information about, you know, the disease as, as they can, so they feel, you know, they feel empowered. I guess that would be the best supporting role you could play.

Only people with rheumatoid arthritis (RA) really know what it's like to live with it. But caring for a friend or family member with this disease can be hard on you, too. As you may know, caring for someone with RA can unleash a variety of emotions. You might expect to feel sympathy for your loved one, but might be surprised to find yourself feeling anger, resentment or helplessness.

Your loved one with RA may not think so, but he or she deals with a lot every day to manage the disease. And in some ways, you have a lot to deal with, too — like the many life changes that may occur. Here are a few tips that may help you help your loved one get the best relief he or she can.

Here are some tips to help you communicate with and provide the best care for your loved one with RA:

  • Arm yourself with information
    The more you know about RA, the better both your lives will be. There's a wealth of information available on RA. And don't forget to speak to the doctor if you have any questions you need answered.
  • Support … don't smother
    Be helpful. Be caring. Communicate. Knowing the person and when to help is important. Sometimes, knowing when not to help can be even more important. If you overwhelm your loved one with help, he or she might actually become resentful.
  • See RA with another set of eyes
    Because RA progresses slowly, people with the disease may be unaware of the changes in their condition over time. If you notice them, you can be a real help. It's not easy to talk about, but that's where good communication comes in. Adding your point of view can help your friend or loved one get the best RA treatment possible.
  • Get help if you need it
    Don't be afraid to ask for help. That includes physical as well as emotional assistance.

If you're caring for someone with RA, you'll probably have some questions about RA. Read frequently asked questions about RA and get the answers you need.

Next — Taking care of yourself

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Get tough on RA

Man with arms crossedKnowing how to cope when RA gets tough can help you get through difficult times.

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Glossary Of Terms

psychologist

A person who is trained in mental health and treatment through therapy of emotional disorders. More...

rheumatologist

A doctor who specializes in diseases that affect the joints. More...

rheumatoid arthritis

A long-term condition where the body's immune system attacks not only foreign substances like bacteria and viruses, but also attacks the body itself. More...

 
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